Do I Look 80 To You?

I may be clumsy, but I am NOT a grandmother. And since I have not been over the hill, had a hip replaced, nor have I signed a social security check, I would like to not be treated as though I have a closet overflowing with cotton turtle necks decked in tacky holiday designs and flowers! (Was that just my grandmother, or have others shared that experience?)

Last week, exiting a second school I am now weekly visiting to promote Shamineau, I fell on one of the five flights of stairs I was descending. This really should come of no surprise to anyone since I often trip over my own two feet, sometimes even with a hot cup of coffee in my hands which then spills everywhere. However, it seems to have alerted the administration at this school of my early retirement, since now I can not do ANYTHING for myself. As soon as I arrived this week, my bag was stripped off my back, my coat removed for me, and my scarf and mittens pried from my body. I understand being hospitable but this was a little much.

Then, as if undressing me wasn't enough, when I went to remove some materials from my backpack, I had two other sets of hands taking things out as well. The microphone was again put on for me, which is completely awkward for a girl by the way, and I didn't even have to open the bottle of water which is always given to me. The rest of the time I was there I at least experienced the freedom to walk around the room and talk with the students. However, when I tried to move a chair, a volunteer swept in to rescue me from such a chore. Leaving the building was probably the most dramatic. I had an entire host of helpers surrounding me, all the lights in the stairwell were flipped on (I think this was the main problem last time) and the death grip one of the teachers had on my arm will most likely leave a bruise.

I'm beginning to understand what a Chinese emperor may have felt. While I am extremely grateful for all the hospitality, generosity and assistance from all of the people I meet here, I sometimes want to scream "I'm Miss Independent!" and then just be left alone.