I Could Be The One

I don't typically hate a song. And I try not to laugh or poke fun at anything that's an artistic expression of someone's feelings. At the same time, however, I rarely listen twice to a song that I don't care for, hence not allowing feelings of despise to enter into my heart and thoughts of demise into my head.

Well, avoiding repetitive music is quite impossible in a small work office where 6 co-workers are addicted to learning at least one new English song a week. Their ambition would not be a problem if the songs they chose had interesting rhythms, intricate harmonies, or marginally good lyrics. Unfortunately, the latest one they've chosen to blast repeatedly from the poor quality office computer speakers has none of the above.

The tune is catchy but that can only be considered a good thing if the song is actually one you want stuck in your head for the rest of the day. I also think that the artist could have an acceptable voice in other potential songs. However, I loathe this one so much that I doubt I will ever attempt to find other samples.

I'm sorry if the following offends anyone, but when you listen to this song 18 MILLION times, you start having such cynical thoughts. If you really want to debate the quality of this song, you too can listen to it for five hours a day, four days straight. Then, and only then will I listen to and respect any argument you wish to present.

I Could Be The One
Donna Lewis

I could be your sea of sand
(I don't know why people think sand is so romantic. It's messy, sticky (especially when wet), and it's harder to purge from any vehicle, towel, sandal, or head of hair than Christmas tree needles which can still be found in the car carpet, wedged in the hall floorboards, and underneath the living room carpet IN JULY!)
I could be your warmth of desire
(Object of desire? Desire that brings you warmth? Warmth that you desire?)
I could be your prayer of hope
(Isn't praying actually an action verifying your hope - hope in a being that is listening to your prayers?)
I could be your gift of everyday
(Does this mean that a gift is daily given? I do like Christmas presents and birthday presents, but I think that the excitement of gifts would diminish after awhile if distributed daily.)
I could be your tide of heaven
(I can't even begin to dissect her meaning in this line.)
I could be a hint of what's to come
(If her brilliant lyrics are a hint of what's to come in the rest of her album, I'd rather not listen to the following songs.)
I could be ordinary
(Who wants to be ordinary? I want to be special, particularly to 'the one'!)
I could be the one
(Could she?)

I could be your blue-eyed angel
(What if someone wants a brown-eyed girl?)
I could be the storm before the calm
(Um, I think she has this backwards.)
I could be your secret pleasure
(If I'm someone's pleasure, I'd like him to have enough love, excitement and respect to make his happiness publicly known.)

I could be your well wishing well
(Are there sick wishing wells? If a well is sick, can you get a refund on your wished-upon coin?)
I could be your breath of life
(I'd rather not trust my ability to breathe and therefore continue living with anyone short of God.)
I could be your European dream
(Is a European dream better than other dreams? She's not singing with a British accent, perhaps she's learning French or German....)
I could be ordinary
(If she really wants to continue being ordinary, she could at least make up an interesting analogy like Jell-O and Creme du le from My Best Friend's Wedding. She could be Jell-O.)
I could be the one
(She's NOT convincing me.)

I would lie here in the darkness
(Does she think the darkness can hide her ridiculous words?)
I would lie here for all time
(What about when she has to use the toilet?)
I would lie here watching over you
(Um, creepy.)
Comfort you
(With THIS singing?)
Sing to you
(If she sings everything with the raspy voice she uses in this line, no thank you, please do not EVER sing to me!)

I could be your worry partner
(I think I'd worry MORE if she were my partner for anything.)
I could be your socialite
(As long as she leaves her microphone at home...)
I could be your green-eyed monster
(How can she be a green-eyed monster and a blue-eyed angel simultaneously? And who wants to have a personal green-eyed monster anyway?)
I could be your force of light
(Is this a Star Wars reference?)
I could be your temple garden
(The end of this song would be more peaceful than any garden in any temple, palace, monastery, or white-picket-fenced-in-cottage.)
I could be your tenderhearted child
(In light of being someone's 'one' shouldn't she want to be the carrier and bearer of their tenderhearted child?)
I could be ordinary
(If bad lyrics are ordinary, then yes, yes she could.)
I could be the one
(Not if this song is her means of persuasion, she can't.)

Will I ever change the journey?
(If her journey is her writing career, I hope she does.)
Will the hushed tones disappear?
(Does she have ghosts whispering to her, or is she finally taking notice of all the grumbles and gossip her music evokes?)
Oh little Rita
(Who's Rita?)
Let me hold you
(She didn't say please.)
Oh little Rita
(I'm really confused. Is she Rita? Is she hearing someone else call her small? Is this her child she's calling? Or is she actually singing to another girl?)
Let me love you
(If she loves anyone, she'll stop singing this song.)

I could be your leafy island
(I've heard of sunny islands, exotic islands, secluded islands, secret islands, white-beached islands, 'Survivor' islands, but leafy islands?)
I could be your thunder in the clouds
(At least thunder would drown out this song!)
I could be your dark enclosure
(So this song IS supposed to cause me to want to crawl into a deep dark hole!)
I could be your romantic soul
(Is she trying to suggest the romance of having a soul mate, destined by fate?)
I could be your small beginning
(Is that why this is so terrible, it's her first attempt at a musical creation?)
I could be your soothing universe
(Not with her singing, she couldn't.)
I could be ordinary
(You'd think she could at least find a less ordinary /plain /mundane /standard /normal /every-day /common /run-of-the-mill /average /simple /regular /usual /typical word for 'ordinary'.)
I could be the one
(No comment.)